I have been sharing a house with a couple of people for close to a month now. They are a real pain. They keep trying to make me do my business in specific places, when I'd much rather just go where and when I feel like it. Still, they've started bribing me with choco drops, so I try to please them.

Outside in the garden it's really cold. And when the man is cutting up wood, I try to join in, but for some reason he won't let me. So I steal bits of wood, you know, really large bits, to get my own back.

They don't feed me often enough. I think I should be fed ten times a day at least. And they keep on washing my bed. Still, when all is said and done, it could be worse. I could be a cat.